DEAR DR. LOTES: I recently took my girlfriend to the movies. She insisted on seeing Juno, but I convinced her to see I am Legend instead. I thought the trailers looked great, but halfway through the movie I was ready to leave. What movies should I see this year? -- GARY

DEAR GARY: Thanks for writing in. 2008 will be a great year for movies, here are three flicks and the skinny on all the people invloved.


1. Be Kind Rewind

Starring-
Jack Black, Mos Def

Plot-
Two guys remake some modern movie classics, using residents of their town as cast members.

Written and Directed by-
Michael Gondry

Other stuff Gondry has done:

Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind-
A highly stylized, visually stunning tale of a couple that undergoes a medical procedure to erase each other from their memories. 9 out of 10 Lotes' stars and a recipient of the Lotes' seal of approval.


Important Jack Black movies:

Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny-
The band Tenacious D goes on a humorous adventure where Jack eats mushrooms and they challenge the devil to rock combat, keep in mind Guitar Hero wasn't popular yet. 8 out of 10 Lotes' stars. If you play music, this is a must see.

Airborne-
Jack appears in this 90's teen classic, but it is penalized valuable Lotes' stars for Seth Green being amongst the cast. 8 -3 point Seth Green penalty= 5 out of 10 Lotes' stars.


Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy-
Jack has a brief, but incredible, cameo in this film as a biker who boots a dog off a bridge. 9.5 out of 10 Lotes' stars and a recipient of the Lotes' seal of approval.


High Fidelity-
Jack plays a music nerd. There is an excellent dream sequence in this movie where Jack and John Cusack's character and some other guy smash Tim Robbins with an air conditioner. 8 out of 10 Lotes' stars.

King Kong-
Mediocre remake of a movie classic. Jack acts pretty well in front of the green screen, but delivers one of the worst final lines in recent memory. There's an excellent Naomi Watts nip shot, which helps. 6 out of 10 Lotes stars.

Important Mos Def movies:

16 Blocks-
Mos Def plays a witness on the run. Bruce Willis is a veteran cop who is trying to protect him. I'm sure the days of preparation Bruce put into this role were grueling. 7 out of 10 Lotes' stars.

Monster's Ball-
Halle Berry is naked. Nuff said. 8 out of 10 Lotes stars.

2. The Dark Knight

Starring-
Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Morgan Freeman

Plot-
Batman Begins trades Katie Holmes and Rutger Hauer for Heath Ledger and Maggie Gyllenhaal. I know what you're asking, "Who are Maggie Gyllenhaal and Rutger Hauer?" To answer your question, nobody.


Written and Directed by-
Christopher Nolan


Other stuff Nolan has done:

Memento-
Guy Pearce plays a man with no memory in search of his wife's killer. 9 out of 10 Lotes stars and a recipient of the Lotes' seal of approval.


Insomnia-
In this movie Hillary Swank doesn't pretend to have a penis, Robin Williams has no beard, and Al Pacino can't fall asleep. Meanwhile, that is exactly what I did. 6.8 out of 10 Lotes stars.

Important Christian Bale movies:

American Psycho-
Christian Bale lives the 1980's dream; he makes lots of money, does a bunch of blow, listens to Genesis, has sex with prostitutes and drops chainsaws on them. 8.5 out of 10 Lotes stars.

Batman Begins-
Mr. Bale answers the prayers of millions of Batman fans after watching George Clooney in the shameful Batman and Robin. 9 out of 10 and a recipient of the Lotes' seal of approval.

Shaft-
Christian does some work playing a prick and Samuel L. Jackson plays a badass. Sounds good on paper, but plays out terribly on screen. 3 out of 10 Lotes' stars and a recipient of the Lotes' seal of shame.

Important Heath Ledger movies:

Lords of Dogtown-
Heath shows us the he is the best B+ Val Kilmer in all of show business. 7.9 out of 10 Lotes' stars.


10 Things I Hate About You-
A mildly entertaining teen favorite, but it kind of reminds one of Can't Hardly Wait, which features Seth Green. It is unfairly penalized Lotes' stars for reminding me of Seth Green. 7.5 -3 point Seth Green penalty= 4.5 out of 10 Lotes' stars.

Monster's Ball-
Halle's boobies. 8 out of 10 Lotes' stars.

Important Morgan Freeman movies:

Million Dollar Baby-
He plays Clint Eastwood's buddy and shows off his flawless narrating chops. Hillary Swank acts like a man again, but manages to suck you in and sets you up for a highly emotional ending. 8.5 out of 10 Lotes' stars.

Se7en-
A rookie cop and his partner chase a killer who inflicts the seven deadly sins on his victims. Not to kill the ending, but Gwyneth's head winds up in a box. Brad Pitt is pretty cool in this movie, but Morgan is super cool, uber even. 8.8 out of 10 Lotes stars.

The Shawshank Redemption-
Awesome flick. Tim Robbins and Morgan Freeman are prison buddies. Tim Robbins gets out and Morgan shows us, again, he's the dean of narration. 9.5 out of 10 Lotes' starts and a recipient of the Lotes' seal of approval.

3. Rambo

Plot-
Stallone goes back to the well one more time. If this movie is half as good as the trailer we're in for a bloodbath and a hell of a good time.

Starring-
Sylvester Stallone


Written and Directed by-
Sylvester Stallone

Other stuff Stallone has done:

Rocky-
Stallone watched Chuck Wepner get his faced caved in by Muhammad Ali. He decided to write a screenplay and he struck gold. 8.5 out of 10 Lotes' stars.

Rocky III-
Now on steroids, Stallone battles Mr. T and Hulk Hogan. He prepares for these fights by running on the beach, wearing some amazingly high shorts. 8.1 out of 10 Lotes' stars.

Rocky V-
Rocky is retired, washed up, and broke. He takes an up and coming boxer under his wing and ignores the fact that his son's ears are pierced. 1.5 out of 10 Lotes' stars and a recipient of the Lotes' seal of shame.

First Blood-
John Rambo manages to endure the Vietnam War, then takes out his fat aggression on a small town's crooked sheriff. 8.4 out of 10 Lotes' stars.

Gary, I hope this will help you aviod future failures at the movies.